We're doing In-Vitro Fertilization.

I usually don't write very personal things on this blog. I guess I just don't like the thought of someone being able to google my name and read my entire life story. But on the scale of monumental things that happen in a persons life... this is pretty up there on the list. I probably won't leave this post up forever but I have a few sweet friends in blogland that have been checking in and asking. After actively trying to conceive for over 2 years we've learned that IVF is our only option to have children of our own. The last 6 months have been pretty brutal.
Today (5/15/10)…
I feel like an alien in my own skin.
This picture is from our first shipment of meds. I've received two more packages since I photographed this one. I’m injecting myself with shots (up to 4 a day), pills (handfuls), suppositories (3 times a day) and patches (currently wearing 4)
I’m crying all of the time for no reason

In the last 2 months I have started crying:
-When I’ve gotten out of bed
-In the shower
-Putting on clothes
-After a nice breakfast out
-When I couldn’t find anything to eat in the fridge for lunch
-Pulling weeds in the yard
-After a glass of wine with a friend
-When I bought the wrong color of stain for the fence
-Pretty much every afternoon and evening
-And always when I start talking about how frequently I’m crying…

4 weeks ago I literally had ovaries the size of softballs. Even though I’ve had all of those eggs sucked out, my stomach is still bulging from the daily hormone injections. Four people in the last six weeks have asked me if I was pregnant. It made me feel super annoyed. Surprisingly… it didn’t make me cry. Just annoyed.

Monday is the big day. Monday (5/24/10) is the day they thaw a couple of our embryos (that have been frozen for 4 weeks) and implant them into my uterus. I will be on bed rest for a couple of days. Nine days later.. I take a pregnancy test. I’m excited and really really nervous.

I went to yoga almost every day last week and it really helped calm my nerves.

But I’m scared and hopeful.

I'm looking forward to a quiet summer break. I'm spending most of the month of July in Idaho with my family so it should be really restful.

Thanks friends for being so kind. xo Hope you enjoy your weekend. :)

LaST daY of ScHooL)) oh glory.

Every Monday night this entire school year we've been a part of this really great dinner club at my friend Brian's. It started out with about 5 of us teachers and started growing! Each week we have around 15-20 people show up. Each week is a different themed course and each person gets assigned something to bring (Appetizers/Desserts/Drinks/Main Course.) We served up every kind of ethnic food you can imagine and to prevent repeats the themes started getting crazier. We've had food made with beer, fruit and wine.. so many fun nights. Two weeks ago the theme was just "bacon." We had chocolate covered bacon for dessert, spam-tini's for drinks... it was awesome. Well the end of the school year is here so we decided to quit for the summer. :( We went to a sweet wedding last weekend and got to hang out with these two. Whitney is V's business partner, she is so awesome.
We went out to a fun Japanese restaurant for MattyP's birthday last weekend.I've spent so much time laughing with friends the last couple of weeks and it's felt really good. I think the anticipation of school coming to an end is so relieving.I watched a beautiful sunset.And... watched Vito slice into some Fontina cheese that he had been aging in the basement for over 8 months!

We were very nervous. It looked good...smelled good.... so we tried it...
it was delish!
It's a really big block. We'll be munching on it and cooking with it for a couple weeks.

HOpe you have a great weekend!

I'll be sleeping in and enjoying my first week off!

It's FriDaY!

I'm super excited for the weekend. I'm looking forward to sleeping in, going out for breakfast and spending time with V's fam for Mother's Day. I'm in need of some serious r&r. I haven't been able to drink coffee for awhile now because of some 'medical' stuff I'm going through and when I'm sleepy on a Friday morning it's all I can think about. I absolutely LOVE drinking coffee. I love the smell, taste, buzz and the warmth on my lips.... mmm.... Oh caffeine.. I miss you..

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HapPY FriDaY!

NiCkS!

I went to Nick's Nursery last night and wandered up and down all the isles for over an hour. It took me forever to find the perfect plants. Their stuff is so great. They have two huge sections just for shade plants (which is what I needed.) I left with some goodies and got planting right away. I'm moving through the yard in sections this year. Taking on one little area at a time so that it's not too overwhelming. Hopefully the weather is nice this weekend so I can work outside. HapPY WedNesdAY.

PhOtOs!

I took some maternity photos of this nice lady a couple of months ago, and she had her baby! I hadn't ever photographed a pregnant woman before but it was actually really fun.

She had me back last week to photograph her three week old little girl, it was fun.

I think babies are difficult to photograph. They make such strange faces and are so squirmy! But it all worked out, the photos turned out cute. HapPY TuesDAY. .. I'm stopping by the nursery on the way home after work to get some goodies for the garden. I've been researching shade perennials and am ready to buy some fun plants! Hopefully tomorrow I'll have pics of my progress..

xo

SpRiNg is HeRe--

We had 10 youth group students from Salt Lake City stay with us over the weekend while they attended a conference during the day. I spent most of my weekend watching Vito cook LOTS of food while I washed more dishes than ever before in my life. By the time they left on Sunday all I wanted to do was get outside and get my hands in the dirt, the weather was cool but really enjoyable. I stained the fence and planted some perennials. I'm too nervous to plant any annuals yet but I almost bought some yesterday... I'm glad I didn't because it got really cold last night.

I think I've got this perennial thing figured out. The first year we moved into this house I filled these beds with colorful annuals. It was colorful all summer but then I almost cried the when I saw the beds completely empty again the next Spring and I had to start all over.

After many conversations with friends and fam I quickly realized I needed perennials and to just accent with annuals! Now these beds are filling up faster than ever and they already look so great. I'm so anxious to start getting things cleaned up and planted. I'm really looking forward to having the summer off, I'm really ready for a break. Only three weeks!

Hop you have a lovely week**